I Wuve You
by Jayden Kipper
Summary: Once they reached the nearby forest, Garet quickly ducked behind a tree, dragging Ivan with him. He slowly peeked his head around the tree and pointed. “Look at those squirrels Ivan... they’re doing something weird and freaky...”'


**I wuve you**

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This is in response to a dare from my friend. She said: _"I dare you to write a short story, that's not angst in like you normally write, but that's funny. ...Oh, and it can't be on the subject of romance between one character and another like mudshipping, etc."_

So here we go. My _warm_... _fuzzy_... _happy_ story.

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It was a hot summer night outside the small town of Vault, the only sounds to be heard were the soft summer breeze against the leafy branches, and the soft call of a Marian Spikihairdguyee.

"Pssst..." So sung the Marian Spikihairdguyee.

Silence.

"PPSSSSSSTT..."

A cricket chrips.

"PPSSSSSSTTT... Hey, Ivan? You awake...?"

Flint shifted in his sleep upon Isaac's head, and Gust scratched an itch, due to Ivan's pokey hair.

"...How about now... are you awake now...?"

Silence...

He grabs a nearby twig and starts poking him with it. "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIvvvaaaaaaaaaaaaaaann..."

Ivan rolls over and grabs hold of the twig, his eyes burst open, a fire burned within them. His voice was filled with annoyance. "What... do you want... Garet?" he whispered between clenched teeth.

Garet motioned for him to get up, which Ivan reluctantly did. The Mars adept then motioned for Ivan to follow him as he snuck past Isaac, who, due to the hot summer heat, was wearing his "I HEART PSYNERGY" boxers and under shirt as pajamas... neither of them were laughing, for Garet wore his "I HEART DOUGHNUTS" (but quickly slipped some shorts on after hearing Ivan and Isaac's laughing), and Ivan with his rubber ducks.

Ivan yawned. "Garet, where are you going...?" he lazily toddled behind Garet.

"Sssshhh..." Another famous Marian Spikihairdguyee call was heard.

Once they reached the nearby forest, Garet quickly ducked behind a tree, dragging Ivan with him. He slowly peeked his head around the tree and pointed. "Look at those squirrels Ivan... they're doing something weird and freaky..."

"Uh-huh, some squirrel voo-doo ritual... G'night..." Ivan turned to leave, but Garet grabbed him.

"Listen, we need their precious artifact that they're worshipping for our, uh, mission. So I need you to run distraction while I grab it." Garet smiled, and before Ivan could answer, pushed him out into the open.

The squirrels stopped their chatter as they slowly turned to look at their unwanted guest. Ivan shot a death glare at Garet, but quickly turned back to the squirrels and started dancing around. "Loooook... I have rubber duckys on my boxers... they're mocking you... whatcha gonna do 'bout it, hmm?" he taunted.

All of a sudden the squirrels started attacking, too distracted by the mocking ducky boxers to notice Garet going in for their 'Lord'. He reached the holy altar, reached in his pocket and grabbed a small bag of sand. He studied the 'Lord' for a moment, then let a proper amount of sand out of the bag. As he reached for the 'Lord' he slowly replaced it with bag of sand, to keep the weight the same.

He finally succeeded, and let out a sigh of relief as he wiped his brow, and set his hand down on the altar... causing the trees to rumble. The squirrels attacking Ivan stopped in their tracks as they stared mercifully up at the sky. As if in a trance, Ivan and Garet looked upward to see the great Judgement staring back down at them.

"**Who dares disturbith the rituals of the Aconut Tribe?!**" he bellowed.

Immediately all the squirrels fell to their knees and started bowing uncontrollably.

"**Was it thou?! Thou, withith the doughnut boxers?**" his voice boomed through the forest.

Garet was paralyzed with fear, Ivan thought fast. "Uuumm... your Judment-ness, er, sir."-he bowed politely-"It was us, who, um, disturbith thou's ritual of the Aconut Tribe. We did it only because we are onith a mission to save the World of Weyward, and we now askith for your permission...ith..." he fell to his knees and bowed like the squirrels.

Judgement thought for a moment, then disappeared as his voice echoed in the wind. "So beith it..."

Acknowledging that their ritual was complete, the squirrels scurried away, leaving no trace.

Ivan cautiously walks up to Garet. "So... you got the artifact alright?" he whispered.

"I sure did!" Garet squealed as he hugged the 'artifact'.

"What is it anyway...?" Ivan snatched the artifact from Garet's gorilla hug. "_**A STUFFED ACORN?!?!**_" he exclaimed.

"Not just any stuffed acorn, a talking stuffed acorn." Garet pulled a string. "I wuve you..." the acorn sqeaked.

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The Next Day...

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Isaac, Ivan and Garet were in a fierce match with two zombies, when all of a sudden, zombie1 attacked Garet, sending him flying into Isaac. Ivan cast Whirlwind and defeated the two zombies.

He looked over at Garet and Isaac triumphantly who lay next to one another. Ivan quickly seized the opportunity and pulled the string to the stuffed acorn that poked out of Garet's pack.

"I wuve you..." the acorn chirped. Isaac quickly opened his eyes and gave Garet a horrified look as he shifted away from him.

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So there's my short little story. Good bye for now!

Or if you are the one who gave me the dare, "BEAT THAT!"


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